The View from Room 733

September 8, 2011
Thursday, 11:15 am
Saint Joseph’s Hospital

The view outside my room was interesting today. I knew that the window looked into the 400 south, Lenox Road and Buckhead area, but the skies have been cloudy. Today, the sun brightened bringing a good view and a surprise.

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I had been hearing enough banging around outside the window to wonder what kind of work was about to happen when the fellow decided to hang around outside 733.

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The good news is that he cleaned my window for a crystal clear view and I did not shock him from his perch.

Mike Green

Much Happening, Thank-You Notes

September 6, 2011

I didn’t know it Tuesday evening while I was resting at Saint Joseph’s, but my mother took a spill in her kitchen. My father and she wisely assessed the fall and decided that it was best to wait to go to the ER after dialysis Wednesday. PawPaw was a quick thinker and called Stan Clayborn after the fall to ask him to help get her loaded the next morning. Fortunately, the wheelchair was available, as their son had taken both walkers for himself!

After dialysis, Will met his grandparents at the clinic and they checked into the ER at Gwinnett Medical Center which is a block away. Around this time, Mary broke these events to me with comfort and care, knowing how I might react.

Around 3:00, Mary left for GMC to check on MawMaw’s admission status. As of 8:00 pm, MawMaw had been settled into room 533, GMC, with two hairline cracks in her lower, left pelvis. The orthopedist had indicated a hospital stay of two more days with use of a walker. We are not sure of a rehab stay at this point.

I am distressed that this happened to my brave mother and that I was not able to help in any way. That said, it could have been far worse and I could be hammering myself in this hospital room tonight for not being there. I’m not doing that. I have to be thankful for the events that have quietly and gently unfolded around me. I chalk this up to loving family and a loving God.

Now, inspired by NBC’s Late Night With Jimmy Fallon and his Thank-You Notes, I have collected a batch of notes that I sent earlier in text messages and FaceBook messages. Not Jimmy’s hilarious bit, but heartfelt from Mike…

9/6
Hi Will,
I wanted to check in with you and catch up. I just finished RT in the usual place at the usual time, so that was normal, except for a chair ride down from my room. Uneventful…
Earlier, I had an MRI done before lunch…loud racket in a confined space…necessary, though…At 6am, a visit from neurosurgeon (so early were my questions, I began to doubt that I even asked them).
Mom is here in room 733 and is the bright spot in the place!
Thanks for helping in so many ways. Father

9/7
Mary,
Thank you for dealing with so much today. You managed to be here at the hospital for the ultra important Dr. Steuer meeting and Dr. Reddy meeting, you managed to get to your Kennesaw class, and you were there for MawMaw and PawPaw at Gwinnett Medical Center ER. On top of that, you managed my understanding of MawMaw’s fall from last night. You knew just how to tell me without filling me with guilt. Amazing! Thank you and much love,
Mike

9/7
Will,
I must thank you for stepping up and taking charge today with MawMaw’s ER situation today. That was very tough and you handled it well, giving me peace of mind. Love, Father

9/7
Faye,
Here I am lying in bed at Saint Joseph’s Hospital…I just want to thank you and Stan for helping with my mama and daddy today. I am relieved that they are in such good hands.
Mary just updated me and it looks like a couple of days in the hospital for MawMaw. Mike

9/7
Stan,
Thanks so much for helping with my mama this morning. As I am lying here at Saint Joseph’s, I am relieved that everything worked out as well as it did. I appreciate you and Faye so much!
Mike

9/7
Thanks, Evan, for so much support! It means a lot that I have a family that thinks along the same lines and pulls together. I can’t wait to see you and Sarah tomorrow. Love, Pop

The day is almost done. I reflect and understand. Somewhat more…

Mike Green

Sent from my iPhone

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A Big Puddle of Goo

September 6, 2011
Saint Joseph’s Hospital
11:30 pm

I had a nice shower and kissing Mary good-bye,
crawled into bed for just a wee nap around seven.

I read a few messages before sleep arrived
And decided to write around ten or eleven.

I got so comfortable that I turned into a big puddle of goo.

Enough of the versifying… Awaken, scribble, then rest…

Medical scheduling: I received an early morning visit from my neurosurgeon, had an MRI performed, received Radiation Therapy Session number 15, met with a radiation oncologist and received a return, late afternoon visit from my neurosurgeon after he reviewed scans and, perhaps in response to Mary’s voice-mail.

The medical gist: neurosurgeons will talk about the T9 collapse and the additional breakage that seems to have affected T8 and T10. The additional damage seems to be causing the unsteadiness when I stand unsupported. Neurosurgeon believes that spinal column stability measure will need to be discussed. He wants me to stay in hospital.

The lift of the day: Will visited me at Saint Joseph’s Hospital after dinner.

The puddle of goo that is me does not want to be controlled, so I give up trying to write and retire for the night.

Mike Green
September 6, 2011

A Stormy Labor Day

Labor Day
September 5, 2011
Saint Joseph’s Hospital

Tonight, I write from room 733 at the hospital after getting admitted for pretty much cautionary reasons. You may have the short version. It keeps getting sparer, due to my rewrites. My prose is so light that it flies off the page whenever I pause for a nurse visit to my room.

I was advised to check in to the hospital for scans to address my unsteady walk that began three days ago. Being a holiday time, I was already off-therapy one day. Staying here overnight for an MRI scan in the morning, to be followed by my regular Radiation Therapy next door at the ROC in the afternoon, just made sense to us all.

As Mary and I walked through Saint Joseph’s Hospital this afternoon, I was struck by the quiet, unhurried atmosphere of the place. I thought that there might be crowds and noise on a holiday. Labor Day must not be one of those trigger times where illness, accidents, or mayhem overrun medical institutions. The lack of noise and crowds was remarkable, even so. I heard a patient on the seventh floor, some unknown distance from my room.

I settled into the room after having had a CT scan and meeting with the excellent PA from my neurosurgeons. Game plan for Tuesday settled, my dinner awaited. After scraping the plate with my usual gusto, Mary and I said our goodbyes and she headed home.

Doctors tell us that pain management is critical in treating illnesses. Having made no study of this management, I know that I am learning as I go. I had mentioned the seventh floor patient. I listened as the patient expressed his pain. I prayed the person peace.

Years ago, I found joy in reading the poetry of Emily Dickinson. An enigma to this day, she expressed elemental truths in her poetry. The pain she addresses transcends the physical.

After great pain, a formal feeling comes —
The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs —
The stiff Heart questions was it He, that bore,
And Yesterday, or Centuries before?

The Feet, mechanical, go round —
Of Ground, or Air, or Ought —
A Wooden way
Regardless grown,
A Quartz contentment, like a stone —

This is the Hour of Lead —
Remembered, if outlived,
As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow —
First — Chill — then Stupor — then the letting go —

Mike Green
September 5, 2011

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September 2, 2011

Friday, September 2, 2011
Radiation treatment #14
ROC
Saint Joseph’s Hospital

I arrived at 2:35 pm for my 2:45 appointment. The place was very quiet. I expected more sessions crunched together so that the office could get off a little earlier for the labor day weekend. I completed the session with Tiffany and Omega.

Earlier that morning, I had fallen as a result of getting overbalanced at one of the skimmer boxes at our pool. I had noticed that I was having some numbness and a little burning sensation when my back would lock up from bending movements. The sensation would move briefly down my legs.

Mary called Dr. Reddy’s office and reported this information to the PA, Friday, 4:40pm

I had an increase in my pain medication due to more persistent pain. Wrote in my blog quite late…

Saturday, September 3, 2011

As of yesterday, I have been unsteady on my feet and have been using a walker for stability. There is a slight numbness in my feet. I can walk unattended, but feel unsteady in my ankles. Bending is greatly reduced.

I think that I should see a neurosurgeon such as Dr. Steuer or Dr. Gower ASAP this coming week.

It is Saturday afternoon and all is well.

Mary and I ate lunch with Ann Spangle, Carol Brown, Judi Walsh and Terry Slanovits at The Olde Blinde Dog in Crabapple. Delightful company, delicious food! Much laughter…I read some pages from my blog.

5:00 pm

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Colonel Wash Mills’ Saber

Growing up in rural Gwinnett County in the 1950s and 1960s, I was exposed to an abundance of family history and family characters. I was a lucky boy. I loved history and was not afraid to talk to my elders. I had a grandmother who could make one hundred years ago seem like just a few years back in a house full of history collected in bureau drawers. I got really good at knowing what was in bureau drawers down home. My own sons carry that particular gene marker.

It would have been hard to miss the long sword-like object hanging above the rock fireplace mantel in the den. Though dulled, there seemed to be glints of gold that would wink from its surface when the hanging lamp was pulled down and turned on at the right height. There was an old rifle with a muzzle hanging below the long sword. Very nice, as well, but I yearned for the sword as would any Sir Michael of Olde England.

I don’t recall when I was first allowed to hold the venerated object. I must have passed the necessary process that would allow me to hold it and learn about it. I know that it sometimes visited with me in town. “In town” would have been the house that I grew up in on Fox Street in Duluth. I learned about this historical object from my grandmother, whom I called MawMaw. The weapon was not a sword, but a saber. And it was not the property of an English knight, but that of a Confederate Colonel, Mawmaw’s own grandfather.

The military saber descended in the Mills family of Gwinnett County, Georgia, from Colonel George Washington Mills, the original owner and my great-great grandfather. I inherited the saber from my grandmother, Nellie Mae Mills Liddell in 1984. I became something of a family historian. Researching and learning, I helped to edit a volume of research on Gwinnett Families for the Gwinnett County Historical Society over twenty years ago.

During the decades of the seventies, eighties and nineties, I interviewed fellow family history researchers, trekked to courthouses and made the occasional cemetery pilgrimage. I tracked down leads on old photographs, tin-type portraits and letters. In 1995, along came the PBS phenomenal series, “Antiques Roadshow.” I viewed the series then and now with a mixture of curiosity, laughter and awe. “How much? You’ve got to be kidding me! Did you say?”. A saber dating from the 1860s was evaluated on one episode. Based on many findings back in the pre-laptop computer decades, I honed my genealogical research into a family history chart and I collected the facts about the saber.

Manufactured for infantry use during the American Civil War, the saber is approximately 150 years old. The blade is steel; the scabbard and hilt are brass. The hand grip is carved wood, originally covered in black leather and trimmed with braided brass wire. All of the leather and most of the wire has been lost over the passage of time. The scabbard had lost its lip, a piece of brass shaped like a one inch fin at one end. The tip of the saber’s blade was broken off at some point in the first decades of the twentieth century by Daniel Meredith Liddell, definitely an action that would make historians and museum curators queasy in the extreme.

Of course, when we look at my grandfather Dan Liddell’s seeming lack of historical respect toward an old military object objectively, we might be persuaded to forgive the benign vandalism. And so, the story goes that Mr. Dan was trying to make the blade a little more child-friendly. Daniel Meredith and Nellie Mae Mills Liddell raised eight children, some of whom could not resist sneaking the saber down from its display above the hearth mantel. There were poses to make, skirmishes to enact, and soldiers to thrash amongst the tall standing Joe-Pye weeds and swaying Queen Anne’ s Lace flowers growing near the homeplace. Children could have an eye put out.

From grandmother Nellie Mae Mills Liddell I had learned that Colonel George Washington Mills received his saber from General Lee. She had no written documentation and the oral history seemed to be confused. Why would he have received the saber at the battle and why, Lee?

The answers came and confirmed the accuracy of my grandmother’s tale.

Her grandfather had been present at the Battle of Appomattox Court House, the final battle of April 9, 1865 and the Confederate Army formal surrender point of April 12, 1865. All confederate soldiers were expected to lay down their weapons for confiscation by the Union Army. General Robert E. Lee was indeed at the epochal Battle of Appomattox Court House. Confederate army officers were expected to surrender their sabers to their commanding general. The commanding general of the defeated army would then ceremonially offer his saber to the victorious general. General Lee accepted Colonel Wash Mills’ saber and returned it to him before submitting his own saber to General Ulysses S. Grant of the Union Army. General Grant returned Lee’s weapon
to the confederate general in a symbolic display of solidarity for a reunited country.

After the cataclysm of the war years Wash Mills made his way home to his farm in Gwinnett County to resume a quiet life. The saber was put in a place of honor and in time reflected lost dreams and lost causes. The anger, violence and destruction that threatened to destroy the United States began to shine less brightly on the saber as the years slipped by. The saber’s sheen dulled and it took on the role of a curious relic or, fantastic, forbidden toy.

The saber is a joy to behold, shining boldly in the home of my family in Milton, Georgia.

Mike Green
September 3, 2011

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Why Blog?

Friday, September 2, 2011

I have always wanted to write, just about in any genre around which I could wrap my words. I don’t know that I was a good communicator, but I could be fluent. I remember a high school English teacher commenting on an essay, “you have the gift of blarney.” I knew what that meant, but I figured that I could spin that to my advantage. And, I have managed to enjoy a good deal of that gift over the past forty years as student, teacher and administrator.

Now, I want to get serious and write. I do not mean that it is time to write and get serious. Far from that… I have a few projects that I want to try. I want to dive in with a family-inspired, historical piece. Not all of the writing will be non-fiction. I believe that it will be the truth…told sideways…

I suppose that I started writing as a hobby last year in September when I presented an essay on the saber at the First Annual Liddell Reunion. In this image you see a civil war saber that belonged to my great, great grandfather. Look for the essay a little later today.

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I Gotta Be Me

September 1, 2011

I arrived at the ROC at 2:50 for my 2:45. Today the session was running behind for some other reason, as well. It did give me a chance to go to the restroom before the radiation treatment. Unfortunately, I was caught leaving the women’s dressing room which connects to the restroom. There were no shrieks, so I made it back to the waiting room without incident.

The radiation machine does a rotation around my body during a session. The technicians have drawn plus signs at three locations mid-torso. These serve in the alignment of the machine and my body. I asked if I would need to have them tattooed. Feel free to insert tattoo design ideas here. I do like the thinking that the marks will not need to be made permanent.

As for The Machine, I wonder about its form follows function aspects of design. It must have an orifice, a snout, or a barrel where the radiation beam leaves that place for my body. I see nothing sinister like that, just a round thick shield.

The radiation streams into the direction of my stomach from the device above me. There is a high pitched buzz for about twenty seconds. The device then rotates below the table and streams, emits, blasts, or spews the radiation into my back for a somewhat longer period of time…thirty seconds. I’ll try to get the timing right today.

The session begins forty five minutes after I arrive. I’m too curious for everyone’s own good today, I realize. The staff is trying to catch up. Trish is helping out to catch up, so now, I have three lovely ladies assisting me and I’m asking questions about timing of the radiation spews. The patient Tiffany tells me that it isn’t the timing, it’s about the dosage. Of course, I ask about the dosage just as staff is exiting before the spewing, blasting or emitting starts.

Timing is important. One must not lie about on radiation tables annoying good staff people. The questions should wait. You know that, Mr. SeizeTheDay.

The session is really quick, invisible , and mysterious. Exiting the table is the challenge. Visualize the connected movements that make it free of pain.

As tomorrow begins the Labor Day weekend, sessions begin earlier tomorrow. I will be at my session at 2:30 pm. With questions about dosage and whether the radiation drifts, spews, streams, emits, beams, blasts…you know that I could continue…

I leave the ROC today, perhaps sillier than usual, but happy to just be me at 4:15 pm in a sweet tooth state of mind.

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Block Party at Northside Medical Campus

Mary and I arrived at my oncologist’s office at Atlanta Cancer Care in the Northside Medical Campus in Alpharetta today. After carrying on with Vu the PA, we had a good meeting with Dr. Reddy in which we reviewed my progress and discussed setting up an appointment with my neurosurgeon.

That appointment would be for determining what to do about the T9 vertebra after I complete the twenty scheduled radiation treatments. The goal of the RT is to eliminate the plasmacytoma which has been located on the vertebra. Feel free to indulge in a mental image of that nasty little bugger parked there. I know that I have such a one…rather perverse, but that’s me… I do know some of you and your imaginations…not naming names…

We talked about a back brace for support. She increased the dosage of the pain patch. Upon checking out and more insurance papers to shuffle, the emergency alarm sounded, announcing either the eminent countdown destruction of the facility…

or…just the need to exit the building for an emergency fire exit.

Mary and I have had our fair share of building evacuations over the years that we’ve worked in public school systems, but today we enjoyed a new perspective. Doctors, Staff, patients and all swooped out of the huge buildings on the Northside campus into the drives, parking decks, and courtyards. You could smell the unexpected freedom that the evacuation brought on that hot August afternoon.

I spied an Edy’s Ice Cream Vending Cart rolled into strategic position at one of the front doors. There must have been a run on the vendor’s stock. Ice cream cones, ice cream sandwiches, and ice cream cups…all being eaten in what appeared to be ice cream heaven.

The alarm stopped but security did not seem to be getting the energized staff and patients to head back in to their duties.

Our afternoon continued with the drive southbound on 400 to The Radiology Oncology Clinic at Saint Joseph’s Hospital. Treatment twelve went well as I planned my methodical escape from the flat and unforgiving radiation table. The hour spent writing, managing movement after therapy and chatting with new friends in the ROC waiting area is a time that I have decided to make into a good and useful part of the day.

And, as if there could be any doubt, I suggest we stop at Theo’s Bakery for SeizeTheDay treat time, the unexpected ice cream social at Northside Medical still inspiring.

Mike
Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Waited for a while, debriefed and got ready to head to Theo’s for a care package.

Mike Green
3:21 pm

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Carpe Diem, everyone!

August 30, 2011

Today is Tuesday and it is Radiation Treatment #11
ROC
Saint Joseph’s Hospital

I greeted the day and enjoyed some simple garden chores such as trimming back Rudbeckia and sweeping. Rudbeckia is a perennial (black-eyed susan) that is a mainstay of our summer garden. The seeds of the mature flower are much beloved by the yellow finch. The yellow finches can’t get enough of the seeds. More power to them!

The session went well today. Usual stuff after an hour…got through it by having a great chat with Troy and Ms. Howell in the waiting area at ROC…

We talked about matters that interest us: writing, cooking (they…not I), birds, bats and deer…pretty random, but all enlivened by the zestful telling…

Troy amazed me with his memorization of a favorite letter that was written to a radio personality. A former English major, Troy has a great command of the written and spoke word. We compared notes and I promised to deliver a spoken Middle English Prologue to the Canterbury Tales next time.

Ms. Howell is a lover of gardening with heirloom shrubs such as Spirea and Weigeia, not so commonly used shrubs… Thoroughly enjoyable debrief after RT…

The day had been seized and I drove home.

I’m working on a city and county essay that is starting to think it might be something. Carol B has made the mistake of mentioning that to me in a passing comment.

Mike
August 30, 2011
8:27 p.m.

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